If she were a president, she'd be Baberham Lincoln.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

It's useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.

My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.

I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you're a tool.

It's all fun and games, until someone calls the cops. Then it's a new game; hide and seek.

We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

Etc. End of Thinking Capacity.

I put the pro in procrastinate.

I'm great in bed; I can sleep for days.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Out of all the lies I've told, Just kidding! is my favorite.

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.

I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

Accept who you are, unless you,re a serial killer.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

After Tuesday, even the calendar goes, W T F.

Hoping that the love you shared years ago Is still as strong today as it was Then Bringing you much joy , love And happiness To celebrate again. Happy Anniversary

An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.

Hope that your strong, sweet & soothing bond of togetherness & its freshness & fragrance continue till eternity. Happy Marriage Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to my dear love and very best friend1.

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

A real relationship is when destinies align, souls connect and hearts beat for each other, forever and ever just like yours. Happy anniversary.

Good relationships don't just happen. They need to be nurtured and given a foundation that is unshakable just like yours. Happy anniversary.

The fact that you don't behave like a typical husband-wife makes your marriage perfect. Happy anniversary.

Your anniversary will remind you not just of the best moments of your relationship, but also of all the strife you went through to experience those blissful moments. Happy anniversary.

In the Waltz of Life, you have proved to be the perfect dancing partners for each other and forever. Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary to a couple who has made their marriage as perfect as it is made out to be in romantic books and movies.

Even amidst difficult times, tough situations and harsh circumstances, you have proved that a happy marriage can sail you through any storm of life. Happy anniversary.

Even after so many years of living together, you both haven't got tired of each other. Here's wishing that you stay, like this forever. Happy anniversary.

As an old couple your legs may have become wobbly and beautiful wrinkles may adorn your lovely faces, but your love for each other never seems faded regardless of life's phases. Happy anniversary.

May the sunshine of happiness always break out from the clouds of misunderstandings to form a rainbow of love in your timeless marriage. Happy anniversary.

You don't need to wait for your 10th, 20th or 25th anniversary to celebrate a milestone in your life. Every anniversary of yours is a special milestone. Happy anniversary.

Sometimes your marriage is slow like Waltz, sometimes it is peppy like Salsa, sometimes it is hot like Tango and sometimes it is soulful like Jazz cheers to the couple who can dance to any rhythm of life. Happy anniversary.

Every year, your anniversary makes me anxious, insecure, nervous and stressed because it adds to the pressure of finding the perfect match, just like you both did. Happy anniversary.

A romantic journey, thrilling ride, fun adventure, amazing voyage, beautiful expedition, memorable escapade, heavenly trip, this is the definition of your marriage and the path to your destiny. Happy anniversary.

Some marriages are a cocktail of different emotions, feelings and experiences. Yours is straight and on the rocks, 100% pure and undiluted love. Happy anniversary.

Your anniversary should have been a monthly and not a weekly affair, for having just one day in a year is just not enough to show each other how much you care. Happy anniversary.

For some couples, being perfect means being flawless. But for a wise, mature and beautiful one like you, being perfect means accepting each other and making the most of what life has to offer. Happy anniversary.

The first few years of marriage are likely to be the best. It is only later that life becomes a test. But the love between you both makes you better that the rest. Happy anniversary and good luck.

Times change, people change, but memories remain. Wish you both a lifetime of happy memories. Have a fantastic anniversary.

The sweetest of anniversaries are a result of getting through the life's most bitter moments, hand in hand and heart to heart. Happy anniversary.

Most married couples hear each other's words, you listen to each other's heartbeats. Most of them admire each other's looks, you complement each other's souls. Most of them commit to each others lives, you have committed to each others dreams. Happy anniversary to an awesome couple.

Success doesn't always come in the form of pay checks and awards. It also lies in smiles that are a result of happy relationships and experiencing the little pleasures of life. Happy anniversary.

If your love story was made into a movie, it would give The Notebook a run for its money. Happy wedding anniversary.

Your family name too should end with EST because it comes after every word I use to describe you as a couple happiEST, coolEST, hottEST and the very bEST. Happy anniversary.

Anniversaries are milestones where you can pause and look back at your life to cherish all the beautiful memories and bind yourselves to all the wonderful promises that are yet to be fulfilled. Happy anniversary.

More than the pop of balloons, flash of lights and shower of confetti, may the sounds of laughter, flashes of smiles and showers of happiness mark your anniversary.

Your dreams, ambitions and hopes for the future may not be always the same. But the beauty of your marriage is that you both live to make each others, dreams come true. Happy anniversary to a perfect couple.

For some people, a perfect marriage is a myth, fairytale, legend, fable or false hope. But for me, it is a real thing which exists between you both. Happy anniversary.

Relationships are not about give and take, they're about share and care. Happy anniversary.

Whatever you do and wherever life takes you, never underestimate the power of honesty, love and friendship. Happy anniversary.

Real relationships are when you can fight like enemies, laugh like best friends and love like soul mates. Happy anniversary.

The echo of your love and the sound of the sea have a few things in common, they are both constant, soulful and eternal. Happy anniversary.